Back to earth

The last few days have been a bit foggy. As I mentioned several posts back, I have tremors. aka; benign essential tremors, aka; familial tremors. What ever you want to cal it, it's just an annoying thing to have. I have complained to my doctor for a couple of years about this and he wouldn't do anything. Finally, he gave me some beta blockers. This, as mentioned in a previous post is basically a blood pressure medication. My BP was 110 over 70. Very normal. After taking the beta blockers for one month with no relief, I went back to the doc for a follow up and my BP was 90 over 67. Hum, how much lower do you go before it's dangerous? I don't know but it was only a 2mg tab and the doc said because it was such a low dose, that's probably why it didn't help so... he sent me to a neurologist.

This guy was creepy. He appeared to be in his late 60's, perhaps early 70's. He spoke so quietly (and stupid me, forgot to put in my hearing aide) but he also spoke with his head down so it was difficult for me to understand him. But, the thing I disliked most about this man was that everythinhg I said, he would come back with a comment to make me feel absolutely stupid. He continually referenced Katherine Hepburn and that my shakes are not nearly like hers and that some people thought it was a wonderful characteristic of hers... blah, blah, blah. I wanted so badly to scream, "Listen doc! I don't want mhy tremors to become as bad as Katherine Hepburns, that's why I am here NOW". He just kept telling me that there hasn't been any studies on this "genetic syndrome" since the 70's because it's juszt not that big of a deal. So here I am sitting in his office, there for some help and he starts to ask me if I have any other pains or issues.
Doc: Does your back hurt?
me: No.
Doc: Does your neck hurt?
Me: yes.
Doc: How long has it been hurting?
Me: oh, about 10 years
Doc: Why does it hurt?
Me: I don't know, mahybe stress.
Doc: does it ever make grinding noises?
Me: Yes
Doc: Well, we better get an MRI done then.
Me: So you think that has something to do with my tremors?
Doc: NO, I never said that. Just because you neck hurts, doesn't mean your head will shake. Most people come to me with a list of 8-10 oomplaints. You only came to me with this one and there's not mujch we can do about that one. But here's a prescription for Primidone. It's a drug from the 70's that they used back then to treat tremors but we need to get an MRI done on that neck of yours.
Me: Umm,OK
Doc: Come back in a couple weeks.
So, I went out to the receptionist. She called and scheduled me an MRI. It was for the following day I didn't go. I didn't get my prescription filled until a week later. Tuesday of this week, that is. The prescription was to take one pill, three times a day. I took my first pill that night. I woke up at 4am, my usual time, attempted to get up to go to the bathroom and I couldn't walk. I had no balance and no sense of control. After starting to come to my senses around noon but with my head still fuzzy, I figured that maybe if I take just one pill, in the middle of the day, maybe the timing of the effects will be worse while I am sleeping so that I can concentrate at work. I knew that taking three pills a day was out of the question. Taking them in the middle of the day made me extremely sleepy and I felt like I was very drunk. I just wanted to sleep all the time.

So, after all of this, I have come to the conclusion that my tremors are just going to be a characteristic of mine. (me and Katherine Hepburn). I've decided that having the tremors is better than being high all the time.